Five Boys In: What I’ve Learned About Raising Boys

I am a natural planner. I like to have at least a loose idea of what’s coming. I don’t mind surprises, but I’ve had to learn—often the hard way—how to adjust when life doesn’t follow my plans, which happens more than I’d like to admit.

For as much of a planner as I am, I don’t remember ever imagining my wedding day or what my future family might look like. Don’t get me wrong—I played a mean game of MASH—but detailed daydreaming about my far-off future wasn’t really my thing. I just knew I wanted to be a mom someday, mostly because I have the best mom in the world.

With each pregnancy, I never leaned strongly toward having a boy or a girl. I was mostly just relieved it wasn’t twins. 😊 I had very few expectations about what parenthood would look like, and absolutely none about what raising boys would entail.

Now that we’re a decade in with five wild and busy boys, I can at least share a few things we’ve learned—specifically about raising boys.

1. Boys are LOUD.
   I’m sure girls can be loud too, but boys are always loud. There is no such thing as quiet play unless electronics are involved—and even then, they’ll find a way to make noise. Raising boys means learning to embrace the chaos and the volume. As a side note, if it suddenly gets quiet, something is wrong. Or they’re into something they know they shouldn’t be. If your boy(s) go silent, run—do not walk—to find them.
2. Boys have NO limits.
   They are naturally drawn to testing boundaries, especially the ones that might cause bodily harm. If they survive with only minor “injuries,” they will absolutely try it again, proudly announcing, “See! I didn’t get hurt” (a phrase my three-year-old says regularly). As a bonus, with each additional boy, you can expect the risky behavior to start younger and younger. They don’t realize they aren’t the same age as their big brother. Yes, that means my one-year-old thinks he’s ten… super exciting.
3. Boys have an endless supply of ENERGY.
   This may be true for most kids, but my boys do not believe in slowing down. They operate at about 150% from sunup to sundown. If I suggest a rest—which is really code for I need a rest—they immediately launch into a passionate explanation of why they are absolutely not tired.
4. Boys and their go-to phrases.
   We all know kids have slang, but boys seem to latch onto one or two phrases and apply them to everything. Our current favorites are “Let’s go!” (to which my brain instinctively responds with aye-aye-aye) and “Bruh.” Not bro. Bruh.
5. Boys are basically Sour Patch Kids.
   There’s a Sour Patch Kids commercial where the candy hits someone (the sour part) and then immediately hugs them (the sweet part). That perfectly sums up boys. They can be rough, wild, and destructive one moment, and the next they’re hugging your legs and saying, “I love you, Mommy.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been cooking dinner and suddenly been bulldozed by a toddler who just wants a hug. Nothing like having your legs taken out while cutting chicken.

I love being a mom—especially a mom to boys. Even though I never imagined what the makeup of my family would be, I always assumed it would include both boys and girls. When we were surprised by the arrival of baby #5, I initially struggled with the feeling that God wasn’t blessing us with a daughter. Now, I can’t imagine our family any other way.

I love our rough-and-tumble crew, and I try to fully embrace all the wild, fun, exhausting parts of raising boys. I can’t speak to raising girls—I know there are challenges there that I can’t even begin to wrap my head around—but I do know this: my boys may be loud, busy, stinky, and oh-so-noisy, but they are also precious, caring, loving, and fiercely protective.

And I wouldn’t trade them for anything.